2018 Christmas Greetings From President Trump and the Rench Family

Dear People,

Believe me, this was the greatest year we’ve ever had. We’ve never had such a good year as 2018, people, and this next year of the Rench family is going to be yuge.

Let me start by saying that our kids are the best. Frankly, nobody makes cuter kids than us, and Abe’s intellect is at least 10 times–I don’t know, maybe 20 or 30 times, I don’t know–maybe 30 or 40 times greater than your kid’s intellect. He’s a special first grader with tremendous potential. He’s reading at a third-grade level. I’m being humble, I really am, probably more humble than anyone else you know; I’m just telling the truth here. He’s in the big league of first graders, and he is unbelievable, believe me.

Charlotte turned four this year. Four. She’s a great four-year-old; really terrific. I mean, her beauty is staggering; nothing even close to her mother’s beauty, but, still, probably the most beautiful four- year-old I know, at least. She has many, many, many friends and suitors–cousins, friends, strangers–you name it, they all want to be with her. It’s great; it is really great to be her dad and raise her. A lot of people are saying she’s going far–really far in life. And I believe it, believe me. She really, really is terrific.

Gwen is our baby–and she says so all the time. I tell her all the time, I tell her, “You’re such a big girl!” and she’ll correct me and say, “No, BABY!” It’s cute; I’m telling you–really cute. I’ve been hearing that Gerber was asking her to be the new face of every baby product, but she’s almost three years old, and, I’ve seen this, probably two times I’ve witnessed this–I mean, she’s just too old. And I told them that, at Gerber, I said, “She’s almost three. I know she’s cute, but if you need my help here, I can help you. My daughter is too old.” And I told them that, and, of course, they understood immediately. They just didn’t have a clue, so I helped them. In all fairness, they just might not have had the training I’ve had; believe me, when I say this… it’s a lot. A lot.

My wife–my favorite person in all the world, the likes of which I’ve never seen, ever; she’s just great–my wife, to be perfectly honest, is the greatest mom in the land–probably the world. I really mean that. She is very much involved in our kids’ lives; always keeping a perfect home. Lots of moms out there are drowning in life–let’s face it, they’re drowning. Drowning in dragging kids here and there, drowning in non-essentials. Sad! We need non-drowning moms. Let’s face it. And my wife somehow keeps her head above water–always keeping her eye on the right things–eternity, training the kids, teaching them the Bible, praying–always praying, and teaching. She’s terrific. Absolutely not drowning; but great. All the right focuses of momming–with the spiritual emphasis first.

So there you have it. We’ve never been better. We have unprecedented growth in our family–never before have our ages been higher, our collective weight been greater, and our home is in great shape. Great shape. A lot of people are laughing at us for having Sea World passes or giving up the youth group to a new guy coming in January, but I’m telling you, it’s gonna be the best thing for our teens when Christian and Sarah Saldana join my teen cabinet. A lot of people tell me they’re making a difference in Ponca City, Oklahoma, right now, but when they move to California in January, believe me when I say this, frankly, this whole state won’t know what hit them. I mean that honestly.
Obviously–obviously–my wife and I will still be here in our church– Calvary Baptist Church in Temecula–basically the finest church west of the Rio Grande River, maybe the world, I don’t know. But just a phenomenal church with brilliant people. A really great church, and we’ll be around for a long time. We’re all rested up from our Alaska cruise in May. We spent our 10th anniversary in Alaska–a terrific state, incredible glaciers, really great glaciers– and had a really great year of life and ministry.

I’ll say this, I’ll say this… This… this. Merry Christmas, folks.

2019 will be terrific.

Believe me,
-Ryan, Jamie, Abe (6), Charlotte (4), and Gwen (2)

2018 Christmas letter PDF

Past Christmas Letters